Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Eye Contact

I can't really made an eye contact !  For real!

I'll immidiately blushing if I made an eye contact to whoever it is no matter what gender and age they are.  I don't like to make an eye contact with whoever who loves to make an eye contact.  Sometimes it does feel like they're staring because their eye contact are very strong, makes me feel afraid or shy.

While I'm blogwalking, I found someone's blog who share the same problem with me.  She wrote something about Eye Contact and Blushing in her blog.  I couldn't stop reading her blog regarding that because it shows that I'm not the one who has that problem.

Then I went further and found this website.  It talks about how to improve your eye contact skills.  Now I know a little bit about eye contact and I want to share it with you.  I posted a little bit about it incase you're too lazy to click to that website.

6 Ways to improve your eye contact skills

1) Talking to a group –
When talking to a group of people it is great to have direct contact with your listeners. Don’t make the mistake of maintaining eye contact with just one person as this will stop the other members of the group from listening. To get past this, focus on a different member of the group with every new sentence. This way you are talking to all of the group and keeping them all interested.

2) Talking to an individual –
It is great to maintain eye contact when talking to a person however it can become a bit creepy and uncomfortable if you stare intensely at them. To combat this, break eye contact every 5 seconds or so. When breaking the eye contact don’t look down as this might indicate the ending of your part of the conversation. Instead, look up or to the side as if your are remembering something.

3) Listening to someone –
When you are listening to someone it can be off putting for the talker if you stare at them too hard. The technique I use when I am counseling someone is to use what I call ‘The triangle’. This is when I look at one eye for about 5 seconds, look at the other eye for 5 seconds and then look at the mouth for 5 seconds and keep on rotating in this way. This technique coupled with other listening skills such as nodding, occasional agreement words such as ‘yes’, ‘Uh –huh’ ‘mm’ etc is a great way to keep the talker talking and to show them you are interested in what they are saying.

4) Arguing –
Arguing with someone is a skill in itself and if you want to compete in an argument holding the gaze shows strength. If you look away when arguing with someone you have all but lost the argument. Obviously this depends on who you are arguing with but in general it is better to hold the gaze whilst you are making your point and also when you are listening to the other person. We have all come across the person who is great at arguing and making you feel small, you will notice that everyone who is like this try to stare you out. Stare back, it will surprise them, piss them off and put them off what they are trying to say.
5) Attracting someone –
When you are trying to attract someone and show them you are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. When a person you like is speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places. If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes.  You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes (yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone’s body language with your eyes).
6) Loving someone –
Share a prolonged gaze into each others eyes and it is a very special thing to just stare without talking. To make your pupils dilate even more you can try this: as you are staring at your partner imagine yourself going inside their body and your two souls making love. You are trying to touch their very soul.
If you're finish reading this,you're awesome! (^_~)
Till then.

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